Every year as December approaches, I grow extra anxious and sad. It feels like the year is ending, my birthday is approaching, and I haven’t accomplished “anything.” When I shared this with a colleague, he replied, “It’s not that you haven’t done anything—it’s just that you haven’t given yourself time to sit down and reflect on what you have done.” His words hit home. He’s right; I did achieve things. So, this article is my way of looking back on my 2025 journey—the sweet memories and bitter ones alike—because I believe they all carry lessons to help me live better in 2026. Here we go!

One Thing I Am Grateful For

I’m grateful I didn’t give up on my dreams. 2025 started tough, with millions of self-doubts clouding my career. I had failed an exam in 2024 and convinced myself I was fine—until the suppressed emotions burst into tears one day. As a high achiever since childhood, I’d always aced exams with flying colours. People saw me as hardworking and smart; “failure” wasn’t in my vocabulary. Facing my first real academic setback left me numb, unsure how to feel. Running from those emotions only dragged me into depression, filling my daily work with constant fear: What if I mess up again?

Days felt heavy, but they lightened thanks to family and friends who believed in me when I doubted myself most. Thank you for standing by my side at my worst. And thank you, inner self, for your resilience—for getting back on your feet and keeping the grind going.

One Thing I Am Happy About

I’m happy I conquered my fear of heights. In August, I signed up for cliff jumping at Kapas Island—the best decision I made all year. Writing this now, I realise it’s been so long since I felt this adventurous. It was like being a kid again. Once fear faded, everything felt fun! I hiked Gunung Baha-Ayam-Stong, traveled to Sarawak with strangers who became like-minded friends, and recently tried rock climbing and bouldering for the first time. I amazed myself by topping every route I attempted, even after slips and moments of doubt. My friends’ cheers pulled me through—yes, I completed them all! I felt alive, truly living.

One Thing I Have Learned

I learned to say no. Growing up, I believed love had to be earned, so I strove to be the best, always agreeing with others—the classic people-pleaser. I made myself available because giving my time felt like proof I valued them. Time was a luxury in my youth; my always-hustling parents left me craving their company. I loved others the way I wanted to be loved. But doing so blindly let me suffer. Learning to say no and prioritise myself is a promise of liberation. The journey to this realisation wasn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

One Thing I Want to Improve On

I want to improve my communication skills. Asking for help felt alien. People saw me as the independent, strong woman, and I feared shattering that image, so I bottled everything up. A quote from Jay Shetty’s Think Like a Monk struck deep: “Our identity is wrapped up in what others think of us—or, more accurately, what we think others think of us.” My biggest fear? Judgment. Showing my weakness isn’t weak; it shows that I’m human. And humans believe. I believe things will turn out fine, even if the road has bumps.

An End Is Also a Beginning

Thank you for reading to the end. If you’re as restless as I was, I hope this brings calm and inspires you to reflect on your 2025—counting stars with gratitude. May your world feel a little more beautiful.

Life isn’t easy, but I’m glad you’ve made it this far. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder and say it loud: “You are enough. Your presence matters. You will become who you want to be.”

Let’s close the 2025 chapter with gratitude, step into 2026 with hope, and live with intention.

May all beings be happy.

 

Love,
Jia Xin